My Foreskin Restoration Journey Begins and Professionals

At the end of last spring, I began my journey through foreskin restoration. Surprisingly, a lot happened in a short amount of time. During that first week, I started using manual tugging using method 2 of Tally, which is illustrated on http://www.restoringforeskin.org/public/manual-tugging/method-2. The method involves encircling the shaft skin with both hands and tugging in opposite directions. This will cause a lot of tension on the skin between the hands, which will help the skin stretch and cause it to undergo mitosis. I worked on it for a combined hour per day, which fortunately wasn’t too difficult to find the time for.

I started noticing a difference almost immediately. It only took a couple of days or so to feel the stretched skin touching my corona, a sensation I began to feel almost all the time. Once a week was up, I noticed a dramatic difference in how I could masturbate. It is worth pointing out here that despite being in my late twenties, before last winter I never masturbated to orgasm in my life and only orgasmed in the occasional wet dream. The reason is pretty much related to being circumcised (and hence gives me an additional reason to try foreskin restoration). I was never sure how to masturbate. The up-and-down moton a male uses to masturbate never came naturally to me. Since I was circumcised, that up-and-down motion seemed too rough to me; too much friction was involved. I never thought to use any kind of lube, although even if I did look up that this was the proper way to masturbate circumcised, I wouldn’t have done it because I wouldn’t have liked the feel of lube on my hands. I will also admit here that I have a few sexual fetishes that don’t involve achieving an orgasm and ejaculating and that I alternatively got off on (though I won’t elaborate on them here). I also put my lack of orgasm down to never having a girlfriend. In other words, it appeared to me that my lack of romantic life was getting in the way of pleasuring myself.

Then about a year ago I heard about a sex toy called a fleshlight, which replicated a vagina, that a male could use to masturbate with to simulate actual sexual intercourse. I was instantly curious and ordered one for myself last winter. A problem I had at the time, however, was that I was currently on the anti-depressant Zoloft for reasons I won’t get into here. I was on a dosage of 100 mg per day, which was unfortunately making it really difficult to get an erection, let alone masturbate satisfactorily, even when I tried using the fleshlight. I then lowered my dosage down to 75 mg per day and in the spring it finally happened. I had my first real orgasm while awake while using the fleshlight and it was pretty good.

After a week of foreskin restoration, however, I didn’t even need the fleshlight to masturbate to orgasm. My shaft skin had loosened quite a bit, and I could easily slide the skin up and down over most of the glans. When I sat down, my skin actually went over the corona and touched the glans. It was incredible. There was, however, a downside to it all. Once a week had passed, the feel of the skin against the corona and/or glans was pretty much constant, and I couldn’t help but feel that it felt really weird and somewhat uncomfortable. I don’t know why it felt that way, but it just did.

I stopped restoring since I now wasn’t sure if I was indeed making the right decision. My psychologist with whom I was discussing my issue with being circumcised and the foreskin restoration with wanted me to contact my doctor to discuss the issue further with. I had discussed the possibility of foreskin restoration with this specific doctor before and while he had no opinion one way or another of it himself, he had no issue with my doing it. I tried setting up an appointment with him, but he was unfortunately unavailable and so I saw another doctor about my attempt at foreskin restoration.

Unfortunately, this doctor was less supportive of foreskin restoration. He said it didn’t work well and that he had known someone who had attempted it but stopped because of discomfort. He recommended I not make another attempt at it. He did say, however, that the skin brushing against the corona and glans would be something that I would get used to with time.

A week or two passed. I had no idea what to think. I didn’t particularly like the second doctor’s opinion on foreskin restoration, especially since I did read about how it worked great for so many circumcised men. Maybe he was more familiar with surgical foreskin restoration, which is a surgical procedure used to reconstruct a functional replacement of a foreskin. I read that surgical foreskin restoration is not a very good procedure, and that non-surgical foreskin restoration is way more effective since you’re growing back a natural continuation of the skin, rather than sewing skin onto the existing skin. Believe me, if the surgical method was effective I would have opted for it. It wold be more expensive, but it would take way less time than the non-surgical method.

After a week or two, I ended up contacting a man who had undergone foreskin restoration online about this weird and uncomfortable sensation that I had encountered and if he had encountered the same thing. He told me that he had indeed experienced that sensation, but that I should get used to it in time. He also recommended I get some O-rings for myself to keep the skin over the glans when I’m not restoring, as this would cause me to get used to this new sensation rather quickly (in about a week).

I also saw my psychologist again about attempting foreskin restoration again, despite what the second doctor said. He understood how I felt and could see no problems with me continuing and in using O-rings, assuming a doctor gave the okay with using O-rings. He was also supportive in that he helped me sort out my feelings of uncertainty with foreskin restoration by listing benefits and costs/risks of proceeding. In the pros list we listed feeling empowered, feeling whole, potential for whole body orgasms (which a lot of restored men experience), don’t have to spend as much money on lube, my penis will be able to cope better with rough sexual activity, and no pain is involved. In the costs/risks list, we listed uncertainty about outcome, will not restore everything, and do/will I like how my “new penis” functions? He helped me to see that some risks are worth taking, helping me conclude to continue with my restoration. I’m very grateful to him for this, especially since he didn’t know about foreskin restoration before I saw him about it.

So I resumed my foreskin restoration. When I got the O-rings, I thankfully managed to get an appointment with the original doctor this time. I took the O-rings in and asked if it was all right to use them. He said he wasn’t sure himself, but he would get in touch with a few other doctors who would know. I waited patiently, continuing to restore my foreskin with manual tugging. The doctor unfortunately had a really hard time trying to get a referral for me to see someone else. He had tried to get in touch with urologists, but the urologists told him he needed to get in touch with plastic surgeons over this issue (despite it being non-surgical foreskin restoration that I was doing). The plastic surgeons then told him to go back to the urologists. Finally, my doctor managed to get a referral for me to see a urologist, though I wouldn’t get in until this coming April. In the mean time, I could continue with my manual tugging.

I believe this experience shows the varied attitudes of foreskin restoration in the medical community, and that potential restorers need to be careful of whom they trust. While I do think it’s important to get medical advice from doctors, we have to understand they are human and not gods. A lot of doctors simply do not know about this remedy, which was a contributing factor in why I started this blog. I remain optimistic, however, that the urologist I’m seeing in April will have a more informed opinion on how best to proceed. I plan to push on regardless though and will tell more of my wonderful progress in the next post.

Love always, Jake Norman (pseudonym), foreskin restorer and intactivist

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What Foreskin Restoration Is and Why I Decided to Take It On

Last spring, I discovered it was possible to reverse my infant circumcision through foreskin restoration. I was amazed when I came across it. I had been disappointed to find out that I had been circumcised at birth and last spring I really started to wonder about it and began browsing the internet online. It didn’t take long to come across the solution that was foreskin restoration. I read that foreskin restoration was a process of reversing circumcision by tugging on the skin left behind, whether this be shaft skin or leftover foreskin. This tugging or stretching of the skin would put tension on the skin, enough tension that the skin cells would have no choice but to multiply to get rid of the tension. Doing this day after day would eventually force the skin cells to multiply so much that a good functional replacement to the original foreskin would grow. It would take years, but men who have done it have all agreed that it is well worth the effort.

There are several benefits to foreskin restoration. If you are a circumcised male and you look at your penis glans you will see that they look rather rough with a few wrinkles. When you were born, however, they wouldn’t have looked that way at all. They would’ve appeared smooth and shiny and very sensitive to the touch. Of course, you might argue that your glans is sensitive as they are now, but again that’s only because you probably haven’t experienced them any other way. The highly sensitive nerves that are in the glans need to be protected in someway. When a male is born, this is one of the reasons why a foreskin is there. The foreskin protects the nerves in the glans. After circumcision, however, the foreskin is no longer there to protect these delicate nerves. As time goes on, the nerves are constantly exposed to clothing, bedsheets, towels, etc. Them being exposed constantly in this way forces the glans to protect them in another way and that is through developing a thin layer of skin to cover them. This skin, while protecting the glans, blockades the nerves in the glans from doing their job to the fullest when it comes time for sexual activity.

Another job of the foreskin is to make sexual activity a gentle and soothing experience. It accomplishes this by being able to glide along the penis, thus eliminating a lot of friction that would occur otherwise. When a man is circumcised, the gliding action disappears, thus introducing a lot of friction into a circumcised man’s sex life. A lot of men and their sexual partners find this amount of friction to be intolerable or at least not ideal. This gliding action is another job that a restored foreskin can take over. Restoring foreskin restores this gliding action, thus making sexual activity a lot closer to how an uncircumcised man and his sexual partner(s) experience it.

While this is all very well and good, when I discovered foreskin restoration, I discovered there was some unfortunate bits to it too. It wasn’t a prefect solution. A natural foreskin contains about 10,000 or 20,000 specialised nerve endings and these unfortunately cannot be restored (unless a circumcised man is so lucky that the doctor who circumcised him did not remove all of his foreskin, but I believe the majority of circumcised men are unfortunately no this lucky, including myself). The original structures within the original foreskin cannot be restored. For example, the Frenar band that is at the tip of the foreskin and contains a lot of these specialised nerve endings cannot be restored. Despite this bad news, however, nerves do end up growing in a restoring foreskin, providing it with a good amount of sensations and sensitivity regardless. True, it’s not the same as the original, but the general consensus regarding foreskin restoration is that it does restore most of the overall sensitivity of the penis that was lost due to circumcision. As well, there are various affordable devices you can get that you can attach to your penis to put tension on the existing skin so that you don’t have to always use your hands.

After I found out about foreskin restoration, I will admit I was hesitant in trying it out and didn’t start it right away, but took a couple of weeks to think it over. It wasn’t that I had doubts that it would work, I was almost instantly convinced it would work if I did it. The bigger question that was floating in my mind was this: Did I really want to change the way my penis, the most private part of my body, looked and functioned after experience it in a certain way all my life? Would I even like how my ‘new penis’ functioned? Foreskin restoration is pretty much permanent after all. The only way you can reverse it would be to spend a bunch of money and opt for a second circumcision.

I mentioned in a previous post that it wasn’t until a few years ago when I was already in my mid-twenties that I even figured out that I had been circumcised. Before then, and even up to when I discovered foreskin restoration, I imagined and even looked forward to a sex life with how my circumcised penis looked and functioned. I have never been in a relationship and am still a virgin, things I’m not afraid to say here, especially since this blog is anonymous. I will also say that I am straight and am only attracted to females and whenever I imagined having sex with a woman or experienced another kind of sexual activity with a woman it was always with my circumcised penis. Deciding to restore my foreskin wasn’t a decision I was prepared to take lightly. It has probably been the biggest decision I had been faced with in my life.

During the two weeks that followed since I discovered foreskin restoration, I was very much torn. On the one hand, I didn’t like finding out I had been circumcised and didn’t feel whole and wondered if was I reading about uncircumcised men experiencing more pleasure could be true. On the other hand, being circumcised was the only thing I had ever experienced and had nothing to compare it to. Did I want to jump into the unknown?

Then after doing some more internet browsing I came upon a comment in a forum by a man who was restoring his foreskin. He too had been circumcised at birth and so had never experienced what it was like to be uncircumcised. He said his main motivation to restoring his foreskin was to feel whole again, at least once. If he restored and hated being uncircumcised, he could just get circumcised again. This time, however, it would be his choice and no one else’s. This reasoning resonated within me, and it was exactly how I felt. I didn’t feel whole being circumcised and I hated that this had been done to me without my consent. Would I actually prefer to be uncircumcised? Who knows, but I was certainly feeling pretty miserable in being circumcised. So I made the decision. The decision to restore what was wrongfully taken from me without my knowledge or consent and to dedicate time and effort in undertaking this miraculous journey.

Love always, Jake Norman (pseudonym), foreskin restorer and intactivist

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Finding Closure

Last spring, I discovered that I could reverse my circumcision through foreskin restoration. I will elaborate on this in the next post and tell why I decided to do it, but here I will tell of something else I needed to do when my infant circumcision really started bothering me. That was to talk to my parents about it. I needed to know why it was done, how they felt about it at the time, how they would feel about it now, and how they would react to my feelings about it. This was especially important for me to do because I have known my parents to be good parents all my life so why would they allow something like this to occur? Yes, I’m sure they had my best interests at heart as did several other parents who also circumcised their baby boys at the time, but if I didn’t I felt it would always be the elephant in the room. I felt I needed it for closure.

After my circumcision started really upsetting me, I started seeing a psychologist about it, and we talked a lot about it. He was very supportive of my predicament and when we talked about me talking to my parents about it he said it would be a good idea to script what I was going to say to them. Scripting would be a good idea because I could control my thoughts and feelings. He also made the excellent point that it would allow me to acknowledge their feelings about it without getting overly angry at them. I also corresponded with a trusting aunt beforehand who gave some excellent advice as well. I will post my script on here in case there other circumcised boys and men who would also like to use it.

I would first text my mother the following:

Hey, I’m afraid something personal has been bothering me over the last little while. Can I talk to you both sometime? What times are you available? I’m available any time this weekend and the following week, except for Monday and Tuesday evenings.

Then when it became time to actually talk with them, I would use the following:

Intro:

I need to talk to you about something personal about myself. It has to do with my body, which I discovered about a year or two ago via the internet. I found out that I had been circumcised, along with lot of other male infants in the 20th century, and that there were various reasons why this was done. For example, the family doctor would recommend it because of hygiene and because the father had been circumcised and it was accepted as a responsible choice. I’m wondering if any of these reasons apply in my specific case.

If the reasons given aren’t because of a severe medical need with my parents’ consent:

I’m wondering why I didn’t find out sooner about this because I’m afraid this has very much upset me. While you may not be totally at fault and that I understand it was a trend at the time, I want to let you know that I don’t appreciate having a part of my body altered at birth without my consent, as well as not hearing about this for so long. I’m afraid it’s resulted in feelings of depression and body image issues that I’m currently working through with a psychologist. Right now, I’m trying to come to terms with my circumcision. I still love you. All I ask for is your acknowledgement that you made a mistake in having me circumcised and an apology. If you need some time to digest this, we can call back later on, but it would mean a lot to me to hear that from both of you.

If the reasons given are because of a severe medical need:

Okay, I understand now, though I do wish you had told me sooner. Thank you for this and I love you.

If an apology is necessary and one is given:

Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. I still love you even if it’s going to take me some time to recover from this.

I felt this was a really good script to follow. I open explaining how I know that circumcision was common at the time and some of the most common reasons behind it were. It is a good way to control my anger and to show them in a less judgemental way what I wanted to talk to them about. The passages that follow also follow this. My psychologist even let me text my mom while I was seeing him in a session. My mom actually replied back before my session was over, saying she and Dad would love to talk to me that evening.

I was a bundle of nerves before calling them that evening. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I also talked with my psychologist about having a friend come by afterwards for emotional support, and he thought that was a great idea.

My conversation with my parents were very productive. It lasted an hour, but it was a good hour. I followed the above script to get me started and all went well. Here is what I found out.

When I was born in the late 1980’s, the usual contributing factors were present such as it simply being the norm and hygiene. However, it appeared the biggest factor that played a role in my circumcision was the doctor’s opinion. He was Jewish and had the misconception that everyone got circumcised and thus convinced my parents that it should be done. After I was born though, we switched family doctors for other reasons. The doctor we switched to is someone I’ve always known and liked (so I’m grateful she wasn’t involved with my getting circumcised). They said that had she been in charge when I was born she would’ve most likely encouraged my parents to think it through more with the end result being that I wouldn’t have been circumcised.

They said, however, that the Jewish doctor had done some nice things for the family to show that he did have a good side, which I agreed with. We also talked about how I didn’t know of my circumcision until I was already in my mid-twenties. They were apologetic for this too, especially when I told them how when I first read the concept of circumcision in a novel that I had thought that the foreskin was the glans and thus I incorrectly concluded I was uncircumcised. They admitted we really could’ve had a birds and bees talk as I was growing up, which didn’t really happen. Mom said parents often make mistakes. In fact, right before her own father passed away, he had apologised to my mother for all the mistakes he had made in raising her when she was growing up, which I found to be sweet.

Afterwards, I was also very fortunate to have a friend to come sit with me after my talk with my parents. I was very grateful for this as I didn’t know I would get someone on such short notice. He was sympathetic and gave the advice that there was no point dwelling on the past because you can’t change it and it’s over. Instead, we have to focus on the future and what we can do to make our lives more fulfilling in the future. I agreed with him, but I still felt quite a bit depressed about being circumcised.

And before I went to bed, I got a text from Mom saying it was such a big relief how well I trusted them throughout the conversation. This was really reassuring because it meant that I managed to get my message across to them without letting my feelings get in the way too much.

As my friend said, however, I needed to focus on the future and not the past and how I can better my life for the future. I found closure in finding out exactly why I was circumcised without it negatively impacting my relationships with my parents. It is now time to better my life through foreskin restoration.

Love always, Jake Norman (pseudonym), foreskin restorer and intactivist

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How I Found Out

As a man who was circumcised at birth, I believe I am a little atypical in how I figured out I was circumcised. A lot of circumcised males know they’re circumcised from a relatively young age like when they’re children or teens. Children are naturally curious about their bodies and learn all kinds of things about them as they grow up, whether it be from parents, other family members, friends, other peers, teachers, etc. When they hit puberty, their bodies start developing, especially in sexual ways. Therefore, a circumcised boy who doesn’t yet know that he is in fact circumcised has a very good chance at finding out so at this stage in his life.

Not for me though. I didn’t find out I was circumcised until a few years ago, when I was already in my mid-twenties. The usual people I mentioned above who should’ve told me didn’t when I was growing up. My parents never really talked about sexual things with me, and my sex education classes in school weren’t that great. Every health textbook and every book on the body that I ever read hardly talked about the penis at all. They called it a penis, but didn’t go into the parts of the penis, and the diagrams of penises in these books either looked like my circumcised one or were too vague to tell the difference. I had no reason at all to question if my penis was normal or not. Lastly, I will admit I was a bit of a loner growing up so I didn’t really have any friends to discuss these kinds of things with either. I don’t mean to pass blame on anyone because of this as I am perfectly aware we’re all human and we all make mistakes so I want to make it clear that I’m not faulting anyone in particular.

I remember when I was a kid, however, that I believe I had my first observation of an uncircumcised penis, even though I didn’t know it at the time. I took swimming lessons at a local pool at the time. I think I was about 8 or 10. One time I was in the locker room where a woman was changing her son either into his swimsuit or back into his clothes. I think her son looked about 2 or 3 at the time. I caught a glimpse of his penis and I couldn’t help but notice that it looked different than mine. Instead of a shaft with the glans at the end, it looked like he didn’t have visible glans at the end at all and the hole at the end looked a bit big for a urethra. I didn’t know what to make of it. Maybe it was a trick of the light, I reasoned, or I wasn’t seeing properly and that if I looked closer I would see that he had glans. Or maybe our penises just developed differently. I mean no two people are ever completely alike physically. So instead of questioning it further, I dropped my curiosity and forgot about it.

When I was older and began watching porn (and yeah I will admit I watch this stuff, especially since this is an anonymous blog), I again couldn’t see any difference between the male pornstars’ penises and my own. A lot of men in porn are indeed circumcised anyway, and even if I did see any that were uncircumcised, it would’ve been hard to tell because penises in porn are almost always erect, making any difference less apparent.

When I first heard about the word ‘circumcison’ it was in a novel. It wasn’t part of the main plot of the novel, but was just a side note. It said that a baby boy had been circumcised by having his foreskin removed, whatever that was. I somewhat forget how I formed the false idea at the time, but after reading this I remember thinking “Oh, the foreskin must be the glans” and so mistakenly thought that this baby had his glans removed. And, of course, I couldn’t have been circumcised because I still had my glans. Besides it would’ve been for a very good reason if I had been circumcised, especially since I have very rational parents and all the doctors I have ever seen regularly have all been great. I also heard the word “circumcision” come up in other places too, but never really explained.

Then when I was in my mid-twenties my world turned upside down. I forget exactly how it happened, but I was looking up circumcision on the internet for the first time. I found pictures, pictures of both circumcised and uncircumcised penises, pictures showing the difference. Well, that’s funny, I thought. Why does my own penis look more like the circumcised ones? There must be some mistake. I was really anxious. I googled on how you could tell if you were circumcised or not. One answer was that you must have skin covering the glans. I forget how long after that I finally admitted to myself that I was circumcised.

But why? And what was I going to do about it? Did I really want to phone my parents and ask why they cut off part of my penis? What was this madness? I read it was a controversial procedure that was common a few years back. I buried all my negative feelings about my circumcision. Besides, I had other issues at the time that I was trying to work out, and simply didn’t want this on my plate at the time.

Then last spring was when I got the itch to browse the internet on circumcision again. What was the deal about it? And that was when I found an effective way to reverse it known as foreskin restoration.

Love always, Jake Norman (pseudonym), foreskin restorer and intactivist

 

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Circumcision: An Introduction

If you, like me, are a male born in Canada, the US, or certain other countries around the world, in the 20th century, you are more likely to have been circumcised than remain intact (if you are one of the lucky ones who has remained intact, credit to your parents and doctors in keeping you that way). First of all, what is circumcision and why is it bad? Circumcision is basically the removal of the foreskin from the penis of a male. It was done as a common procedure on male babies just a few days after birth from about the mid 19th century to the end of the 20th century. It was done for a variety of reasons: cultural, the false belief that the body is more hygienic without the foreskin, the false belief that it reduced the risk of sexually transmitted diseases (sexually transmitted infections today), religion, aesthetics, etc. Despite all these reasons people gave and continue to give, however, the procedure is completely unnecessary and there is no real reason to perform it, except perhaps for extreme medical reasons (and here the operative word is extreme) and even here I have my doubts if such a real medical reason exists.

But circumcision is not only unnecessary, but harmful. Despite people, including doctors, thinking that the procedure is beneficial, it is completely the opposite. It reduces sexual pleasure both for the male who had it done to him and to his sexual partner(s). Now if you’re a circumcised man or the sexual partner of one, you might object at this point and point out that your sex life is great. “Reduction of sexual pleasure?” I hear you ask. “We have no problems whatsoever with our sex life.” That may be true, and I certainly wouldn’t blame you for thinking that way. In fact, I suspect that it’s partly why circumcision took a strong hold in first world countries like Canada and the US. If your father was circumcised and you were circumcised too, for instance, your father probably thought that sex is great too even if you’re circumcised.

But as I will argue in this blog, this is only because a circumcised man does not typically know what he is missing. Yes, sexual activity for a circumcised man can still be great, but sexual activity for an uncircumcised man is incredible and absolutely amazing. Consider this analogy. Let’s say instead of a procedure to amputate the foreskin at birth, we had a procedure to go colour-blind that we had babies undergo after birth for whatever reasons. Everyone is colour-blind. You might think such a world would be a sad one to live in, but would the people who live in such a world feel the same way? Remember they have no concept of colour. They don’t know what they’re missing. To them seeing things in black and white and shades of grey is perfectly normal and satisfactory. A novel that illustrates this idea perfectly is The Giver by Lois Lowry. The book is about a community where the people have no choices, there are no colours, there is no pain or suffering, etc., yet they remain perfectly happy and content with their lives. A 12 year old boy, Jonas, is chosen as a receiver of memories, meaning he is to go to The Giver on a regular basis. The Giver is the current holder of memories and has Jonas experience what he is missing from being in the community. Circumcision I argue works the same way.

I would also like to point out a lot of men have problems with their sex lives, problems that are caused by being circumcised. Still others, such as myself, have feelings of loss, resentment, and betrayal by our parents, doctors, society, country, etc., contributing to psychological harm as well. Finally, besides these sexual and psychological harms, there are personal things about my circumcised penis that make me additionally unhappy about it and that I will elaborate on in another post.

Despite all this bad news about circumcision, however, it is fortunately becoming a less common thing to do. Moreover, for us men who have already been circumcised, it is indeed possible to reverse much of what was lost and to re-grow another foreskin through a process known as foreskin restoration. I wouldn’t be surprised if you haven’t heard of such a thing. I didn’t know that it was possible to reverse circumcision until last spring. In the posts that follow, I give details on this process, how it is working for me, as well as say everything I believe needs to be said on the subject of circumcision and intactivism (the movement against non-concentual circumcision).

Love always, Jake Norman (pseudonym), foreskin restorer and intactivist.

 

 

 

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